Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Welcome to The BATCAVE...

The other evening I was standing at the kitchen counter doing some eBay work... listening to an ENYA CD (in the spacesaver CD player mounted under the kitchen cabinets directly in front of where I was working)... all of a sudden I heard like a "crackling" noise... Hmmmmm... that's weird... then I heard it AGAIN... could it be the speaker misbehaving on the CD player?... it has a tendency to "crackle"... (we need a new spacesaver)... so I turn off the CD player and continue working... and hear the "crackling" noise AGAIN... ok... WHERE is it coming from?... I look off to my right... towards the kitchen sink (which is on an angle in the corner) and windows... THEN I hear a "ticking" noise... I move TOWARDS the sink and windows and notice THE VALANCE MOVE... I lean down a bit and it's a BAT in the corner of the FREAKING WINDOW!!!... OK... I IMMEDIATELY proceed to start SCREAMING... I mean like horror movie SCREAMING... which in turn makes the bat start FLAPPING IT'S WINGS (still in the corner of the window)... So I continue SCREAMING and start STOMPING my foot... (I should mention that I was NOT alone in the house... EVERYONE was home... son upstairs... husband and daughter in the Family Room... Dog in her kennel... WHO do you think came RUNNING into the kitchen upon hearing my SCREAMS???? Care to take a guess? NOONE... not one single person... not even the DOG!!! I could've been being murdered... SCREAMING and STOMPING and NOONE came rushing in to see what the hell was going on... SO... I start screaming my husband's name... FINALLY he comes into the kitchen... "WHAT are you screaming about?"... I point to the window and TRY to say "BAT"... but by this point I can't catch my breath... "Stop screaming... someone is going to call 911" says my husband... finally I get out "BAT" as I RUN out of the kitchen... into the Family Room... GRAB my daughter (making her spill her container of favorite buttons which makes her mad) and pull her into our downstairs powderroom and SLAM the door... I press my ear up against the door and don't hear ANYTHING... OMG... the BAT has gotten my husband!!! WHAT am I going to do???? "OK... you can come out... it's gone" my husband says from the kitchen... "What do you mean it's GONE... did you kill it? Show me the BODY!!!"... "No Lala... I didn't KILL IT (he said he thought that would be mean (he's a softie like that)... I let it out the window"... "WHAT??? THE WINDOW WAS OPEN????"... NOT possible... b/c THAT particualr window doesn't have a screen and is WAY HARD to crank open... So my huband being the LOGICAL one says "The humidity must've popped the top of the window away from the casing b/c there is a little "crack"... the BAT was STUCK half IN and half OUT"... ok "WHAAAAAAAAT the hell does THAT mean? The BAT was trying to get INTO the house? WHY?" Of course... my husband isn't ALWAYS a logical thinker and says "Maybe it was too hot outside for it..."... yea... right GENIUS it needed some AC relief... WHATEVER... SO... the BAT was let free... my daughter came out of the bathroom and informed me that I had made her drop all her favorite buttons and "Would you please help me pick them up Mommy?" (which I did)... and things returned to "NORMAL"... although NOW... every night before we head upstairs to bed... My husband goes on BAT PATROL... I make him take a flashlight and check EVERY WINDOW and corner INSIDE the house... and THEN go OUTSIDE and check the windows... (That'll teach him to not come RUNNING when I am SCREAMING!)... I am on the hunt for a housesign... nothing gaudy... something stylish and discreet that reads "WELCOME TO THE BATCAVE"...

1 comment:

Robyn said...

A bat kept beating up against one of our windows several weeks ago. But I had just read my husband's National Geographic which had an article about bats, so I wasn't afraid. That and the fact that the bat WAS on the other side of the window.