Growing up in the South (and being a thoroughly Southern Girl) I would NEVER have called an adult (not related to me) by their FIRST NAME... NEVER... it was something I never would've even have CONSIDERED doing ... My Mother's friends weren't "Betty" "Sally" and "Mimi" to ME... They were (and are to this day) "Mrs. Brown" "Mrs. Tuller" and "Mrs. Smith"... My schoolbus driver wasn't "Twilla"... she was "Mrs. Kemp"... My TEACHER wasn't "Alice"... she was "Miss Childris" (Miss b/c she was not married)... you get the idea...
When my son was little... we lived in the South... and he grew up being "taught" that ADULTS are referred to as "Mrs./Mr."... When I would introduce him to my friends he would meet "Mrs. Beck" "Mrs. Panly" and "Mrs. Newton"... he wouldn't meet "Kristy" "Michelle" and "Cathy" (It's funny because now that he is older he heard me referring to "Kristy" and said "Mom... WHO is Kristy?"... I told him "Kristy" is Mrs. Beck..." "Oh... I never knew her name was Kristy"... I don't think he KNOWS the FIRST NAMES of ANY my friends!) It wasn't anything "unusual" to him... it was "natural"... something "taught" to him by routine and example... it just WAS... as it was to the other kids he grew up around... it's what was DONE... The WAY...
Being a little girl I remember playing "card club" with my little girlie friends... and we would play "grown up"... being "Mrs. White"... "Mrs. Conner" and "Mrs. Stiles"... it was fun... "exciting"... that someday someone (children like we were) would refer to us as "Mrs. ---"...
I CRINGE when a "new" (we have moved to a different area now) friend of mine or people I have just met will introduce me to their CHILD/CHILDREN by my FIRST NAME (until moving to our current location a CHILD had RARELY referred to me by my FIRST NAME)... WHEN did THAT become appropriate? WHEN did I become "Lala" to a FIVE YEAR OLD CHILD or a FOURTEEN YEAR OLD BOY (who BTW won't even look me in the eye when speaking to me?) The last time I checked I was an ADULT... yea... NOT liking this at all... so I have begun quickly introducing MYSELF if/when the opportunity arises "Hello Paxton... I'm MRS. --- Nice to meet you"... SOMETIMES this works... SOMETIMES... When I introduce people to my children as "Mrs. Horn"... "Mrs. Panella" or "Miss Klien" it is quickly followed by "OH... they can call me --- (insert first name)"... UM... no... YOU are an ADULT... they are CHILDREN... WHEN did that become appropriate?
A friend of mine "Mrs. Hardt" asked me about it one day on the phone... ""Lala"... I'm just curious... why you don't want Lk to call me Missy"... WOW I thought... what an opportunity to "explain" myself... "Well... because YOU are an ADULT... and Lk is a CHILD... she is NOT your contemporary... I feel that IF she were to call you by your first name... she would grow up thinking that ADULTS and CHILDREN are on the same "level"... EQUALS... which they are not... " "Oh... I never thought about it like that"... then we proceeded to have a very nice chat on the subject... SHE now has begun to insist that HER CHILDREN refer to ADULTS as "Mrs./Mr."...
I am trying to get use to the "informality" of today's "society" and the area we are living in... TRYING... but MAYBE... just MAYBE if SOME of the things WE practiced and were taught when WE were children were practiced and taught to our children today... the WORLD in general would be a NICER place... MAYBE... but until then... I'll try really hard not to CRINGE
4 comments:
I guess with teachers I was always taught to say "Mrs. Lastname" (this growing up on the far south of Chicagoland)
Now to my friends and I have noticed that kids are being introduced to adults as "Mrs. Jacki" vs "Mrs McHale" I guess in a way it is easier for kids, my DH calls his kindergarden teacher (still family friends) by "Mrs. Rosemary" I agree it is wierd for a kid to just call you by your first name. But maybe we are old school? I also shudder at the idea of being an adult but we are, so we should be addressed as one right?
I so agree with you on this. I think it is just one of the important manners things. (Even though it makes me feel old now when people call me Mrs.!)
Hi. Just dropped by. We are also like you here in the Philippines. We just don't call older people by their first names because it is rude here. We have titles like ate for older sister, kuya for older brother, Tita/Tito for older family's friends, aunt/uncle etc etc. I addressed my fiance's mom as Mrs but she told me to call her by her first name, which is kinda uncomfy for me...
I agree also! I'm not sure how the informality seaped in buy I do think children should be taught to address adults as Mr/Mrs/Miss as a sign of respect.
When I was in fourth grade we moved from MN to Texas - and I got in trouble at school because I didn't know I was supposed to stand up and address my teacher as Miss or Mr when answering a question. We moved back north after a few years and resumed old habits.
I love it when I visit my friends in the south and all the children call me "Miss Sharon"!
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