Being born and raised in the South I was never "shielded" from Death... when someone in the family "passed on"... we were taken to the funeral home for visitations... to the graveside for burial... and to the bereavment luncheon afterwards... our live's and social calendars took a "backseat" to the events surrounding a Funeral... it was a way of showing respect for the one who had "passed" and for the one's that were left behind...
I have not shielded my children from Death... My son attended his first Funeral at the age of 3... My Maternal Grandfather had passed after a long illness... I remember approaching the casket with my son... to pay our respects... and my son went up on his tiptoes to peer over the edge of the casket... we stood there quietly for a moment... and my son looked up at me and said "Old Grandpa looks happy now"... and I responded "Yes... Old Grandpa is happy now"... he looked back into the casket and said "That's good... because he was sad before" (even at the age of 3 my son "understood" the Peace that his "Old Grandpa" had found)... I never sat my children down and "formally" explained EXACTLY what it means when someone passes on... I think by experiencing the funeral "process" they have come (and came) to understand it... and are not afraid
I understand the desire to "protect" children from "unpleasant" events... to shield them from sadness and pain... but I think sometimes by doing so we may be instilling a fear that WE as adults may harbor ourselves about Death... and WHAT it exactly means...
Although we may not "understand" Death... the reasons... purpose... or circumstances... it shouldn't be something to fear
1 comment:
I totally agree! Mia was 6 months old at my Gramma's wake, and funeral. I will raise her to understand and respect death, and those it affects. Good post. Interesting.
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